Vulnerability is not weakness
Allow yourself to be held.
You’ve never been held. You’ve never been held because you won’t open your arms. You won’t open your arms because you’re scared to let someone else see what you’ve been holding. You’re scared to let someone else see what you’ve been holding because the last person you showed it to made you feel shame for carrying it.
I was watching an Instagram reel where a popular gospel artist was talking about vulnerability, and I thought it was profound. He specifically said, “If someone plays you for being vulnerable, they played themselves,” because you’re giving them your authentic self, you’re opening your heart to them. If after you’ve opened your heart to them and they show you shege, it tells you enough about who they really are.
Vulnerability is terrifying, horrifying, petrifying, and all the English words synonymous with scary. But I think there’s something so intimate and beautiful about holding someone’s heart tenderly.
It is much more than letting someone into your life. It is letting someone see all of who you are. Sometimes, it feels like running to the edge of a cliff and jumping off, unsure if there’s something below to catch you or if you’re free-falling to your death.
You show them what hurts you, what heals you, what makes you who you are, and instead of raising their walls, they sit in the muddled feelings in an “I see you, and I’m not going anywhere” kind of way.
You show them the things that make you sparkle. Maybe it’s your obsession with K-drama, or a piece of music you’ve been working on, or your infinite love for nature. And instead of them getting the ick, your smile makes them more curious about the thing that makes you sparkle. It draws them in; they want to know why you love what you love.
Vulnerability needs tenderness. It needs to be met with tenderness. It needs to be held with tenderness. It is made with the same fabric as trust. Once it is not handled with tenderness, it hardens and builds walls, never to let anyone else in so easily.
Holding someone’s heart requires so much more than we think. It requires not just tenderness, but strength and responsibility. You listen to the hard things and are strong enough to hold two people (yourself and the other person) without breaking. You see the silly person behind the armour and are responsible enough not to take them for granted.
With people, it’s a 50-50 chance on the vulnerability scale. You might fall to your death, and the death of the relationship. Or the person could catch you and make you a home. You’d never know if you don’t jump.
Vulnerability is terrifying. The courage it takes to reveal your heart is one of the most daunting...and yet rewarding experiences in life. It will set you free.
So here’s your invitation to jump. Here’s your invitation to open your arms so you can be held. I hope you find people who can hold you with strength and responsibility. Like an unraveling of your true self in a world of forged identity.
I hope you find your community.
Till next time,
Love and Light from Amaka.
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